Here is my Myspace rant for the year because most of my journal is peppy-happy-energetic-enthusiastic Heather or blah-life-sucked-today Heather, but never angry pissed off at the world Heather.
So here is my chance to rip the world a new asshole.
Beware that this is ONE LONG ENTRY. Very long. And probably pretty amusing and will have you nodding, smiling, and laughing because you all know what I mean. You've seen these people every day. Hopefully you're not one of them.
Here we go.
Lets start with drunken drivers. Let me say this: If you ever have, or ever will, drive drunk, you have lost my respect and should be shot between the eyes. I think I need say no more on this subject, and anyone who disagrees with this should also be shot between the eyes and stabbed in the jaw for good measure.
While were on the subject of drinking, lets talk about people who drink on dry campuses. DUMB ASS. IRRESPONSIBLE. Its one thing to drink underage -- okay, I understand, youre experimenting, all that stuff. I completely understand Ive drank before, its fun, all that cool stuff. HOWEVER, if youre drinking on a DRY campus, youre more than likely going to get caught. So if youre going to drink illegally PLEASE at least use some COMMON SENSE and do it in a place where you WONT be caught. Because otherwise youre just stupid.
While were on the subject of drinking, people who get shitfaced nearly EVERY NIGHT during college. So youre paying HOW MANY thousands of dollars a year just so you can party and then fail out of your classes? Talk about a quick and not-so-cheap way to ruin your life. You might as well just throw money out your car window for what its worth. Honestly. Grow up. Its cool to party once in a while. Every night? No. DUMBASS.
So I was in Borders Express today (OOH as if that sounds SO MUCH FUCKING COOLER than Waldenbooks. WHAT THE FUCK.) and I noticed that there was an African American Fiction section. THAT made me do a double take. WHY?!? Hasnt our country been THROUGH this already? So let me get this straight: segregation of schools and water fountains and bathrooms and other such facilities is uncool, but segregation of LITERATURE is OKAY?!?! I dont understand why people are like, WE WANT TO BE TREATED EQUALLY! but then shit like THIS happens which sets you APART from everyone else! You dont see a Native American fiction section! You dont see an Irish Fiction section, or a Chinese people fiction section! SO WHAT THE FUCK! If I were a black person (moreso than just a small unnoticeable percentage) I would be INCREDIBLY insulted by the fact that Borders feels that it has to SEPARATE black people books. Honestly. The same goes for Hispanic literature! I thought the point of America was to mix everything together so you wouldnt HAVE to create a separate section for EVERY SINGLE RACE EVER! Ugh. I also get so sick of it when someone invokes the whole Well my people were enslaved by your people and blah blah blah. That does EVEN MORE to set your people apart. I got news for you: I never owned a fucking slave so FUCK OFF. You yourself have never been a slave so FUCK OFF. That was like, two hundred years ago. ENOUGH ALREADY. And this whole "My people" talk. Did you know that your people really arent any different from my people? did you know were all HOMO SAPIENS? By referencing events that distance races, youre only serving to separate the races EVEN MORE. Not only that but go tell a Jewish person that. Go tell a Native American that. See what THEY will say about it. And so on and so forth.
Next topic of discussion: People who write for Fanfiction.net. YOU PEOPLE ARE A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS. Honestly, if youre SUCH GREAT WRITERS, why dont you come up with your OWN FUCKING MATERIAL! Dont take someone elses shit and rework it for your own purposes, thats called STEALING you bunch of BLOCKHEADED COWFUCKERS! Honestly! Get some creativity and a LIFE while youre at it!
Next up: cover bands. Let me say this straight off the bat: Being in a band in and of itself does NOT automatically make you cool or scene. The whole idea behind being in a band is to EXPRESS yourself. YOURSELF. NOT someone else. WRITE YOUR OWN SHIT. You people are as bad as the Fanfiction folk. I dont care how many times you play the Freebird solo. YOU DIDNT WRITE IT. Its NOT YOURS. So therefore, youre a waste of time. Why would I want to come listen to your shitty cover band cover a song in a shitty way when I can just listen to it at home by the REAL GUYS. Or even better, go to THEIR concert and listen to THEM play THEIR song? SERIOUSLY!
Who next, who next. BAD DRIVERS. I HATE YOU IDIOTIC BAD DRIVERS! Seriously. Its one thing to go fast. Thats perfectly acceptable as long as you can do it without being an asshole. But the people who are crawling up asses, cutting people off, etc? you people deserve the ninth circle of hell. Especially when YOU cause accidents to INNOCENT people who then have to pay the price because you were busy showing off. NO. YOU SUCK.
People who cant spell. Or who TyPe LyK3 ThI5. Y0u aR3 a 5t00piD 8uNcH oF A5$h0L35 wh0 n33d 2 g3T L1v3s. honestly. It totally is NOT even faster to type like that. It took me about three quarters of a minute to type that sentence the way you assholes do. Thats THREE QUARTERS OF A MINUTE OF MY LIFE WASTED. Youre probably burning eight brain cells out per minute trying to make a coherent sentence out of noncoherent symbols and numbers and FOR WHAT? So you can think youre looking clever when youre really making an asshole out of yourself trying to be cute and creative. ITS BEEN DONE. Move on! Its not cool anymore. FUCK OFF. Learn to type.
Then, theres the whole cell phone craze. I dont mind people on their cell phones in stores. AS LONG AS YOURE NOT TALKING LIKE THIS, SO FUCKING LOUD THAT THE ENTIRE STORE CAN HEAR YOU LIKE YOURE ON A FUCKING LOUDSPEAKER. Ooh, looky here, Im gonna prance around a store with my cell phone so people will go OOH LOOK AT THAT PERSON they have a CELL PHONE what a CONCEPT. For those people, I have news: EVERYONE HAS CELL PHONES THESE DAYS. Nobody cares anymore! Honestly.
But even these people can be topped. People who come up to the cashier on their cell phone? No. You people SUCK BIG RETAIL DICK. Because WE as cashiers are trained to be polite to you, and youre gabbing away on your phone, not paying attention, so meanwhile we have to WAIT for you while the rest of the line is forming just because you cant wait two fucking minutes to gossip to your BFF LYKE OMG about what Brad Fuckson was wearing to school the other day. MY GOD. SHOW SOME INTELLIGENCE. Show some COURTESY. Then when I ask you if you want Credit or debit, first you glower at me because GOD FORBID I SHOULD INTERRUPT YOUR MINDLESS CONVERSATION, despite the fact that YOU came up to ME on your stupid ass phone, then you triumphantly announce CREDIT (because WOOHOO your mommy gave you a credit card! So that makes you SPECIAL because OBVIOUSLY NOBODY else in the world HAS ONE) and proceed to type in your PIN but you didnt notice that you put it through as DEBIT because youre TALKING ON YOUR PHONE LIKE AN ASSHOLE ON FIRE.
GOD!
I have to include this in here, even though Ive already talked about it.
There was this asshole and his girlfriend in music the other day. He comes in with a copy of Brave New World, and she says to him, ooh, Ive never read that, whats it about?
And here is his response (word for word, I wrote it down as soon as I heard it because it was slow that day) Uh, well,... it's about this city... in the future... and it's like, perfect and stuff. And the people never get sick because they're sort of perfect too, but not really. Cause they're genetically made. And everyone's like, 'YEAH, technology ROCKS' and stuff."
Philly people on bikes. Not motorcycles. Bicycles. YOU PEOPLE SUCK AND I HATE YOU. Weaving in and out of cars like youre hot shit? No. If you were really THAT hot of shit, youd have a CAR. And then when youre predicting the path of a car, and it goes the opposite way and cripples you? Then its THEIR fault despite the fact that YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE SIDEWALK YOU SORRY FUCK.
Politicians. I dont think a rant is necessary here. You all get the idea.
Disclaimer: THIS IS AN ADAM SANDLER JOKE reworded. So I claim no credit for its genius. Its all his. People who point at their wrist when they want to know the time. YOU ARE ASSHOLES. JUST ASK. I dont point at my mouth when Im hungry, I dont point at my crotch when I have to pee, so WHY would you POINT at your WRIST.
People who preach at me. Nobody cares about how God saved you from your evil life. Religion is such a personal thing, that it cannot be the same for any two people. Also, if what you say IS true, then isnt it Gods job to save me, not yours? Go fuck a tree.
Next up: People who talk during movies. Especially on cell phones. Again I must make reference to the fact that if you have a cell phone, it doesnt make you special. But more importantly, well, let me quote my 12th grade history teacher here, When you go into a movie, your first obligation is to make sure you dont disturb the other peoples ability to watch the movie. Your second obligation is to watch it yourself, but this is optional, sleeping and whatnot. This statement is true. Movies are expensive these days. 8.50 at the place where I go, more expensive at other places. Im a starving college student. To me, 8.50 = four meals worth at McDonalds. I didnt pay NINE FUCKING DOLLARS to come listen to you GOSSIP on your cell phone and distract me from my amazing Pirates of the Caribbean II. I paid nine dollars to watch Johnny Depp prance around in pirate getup for two hours, not to listen to you ACT LIKE A STUPID INCONSIDERATE BITCH.
While were on the topic of movies actually, I have to admit, I find this one pretty funny. We were in Spiderman (the first one) and it was the part where the evil thing was asking Spiderman to join him or whatever, and this one big burly guy was SO into it that he shouted at the screen, DONT DO IT SPIDERMAN! in the most desperate, almost crying voice. And I looked at my da and we just burst out laughing. Once or twice is okay. But people who narrate the movie OMG That ALIEN just killed that guy! or people like the above who do it ALL MOVIE LONG? You people suck too. Youre stealing my movie, and therefore my money and you deserve to be eaten alive by maggots.
People who wear their pajamas out in public. And I dont mean just out to get the mail then back in to get dressed. No. You are the people who wear pajama pants to malls, restaurants, stores, etc. YOU PEOPLE ARE THE WORST and I want to SMACK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. Do you have ANY idea what kind of message youre sending to the world? One of two: 1. Im an asshole who is SO lazy that I COULDNT EVEN DRESS MYSELF PROPERLY or 2. Im an asshole who is SO lazy that I couldnt afford a JOB so I could dress myself properly. Apparently the whole Pajamas thing is TRENDY? So youre not only lazy, youre a bunch of lazy lemmingsheep. FUCK YOU. (Most of) the rest of us make an effort to at least look somewhat decent, but you fuckholes cant even do that. Plus if youre wearing your pajamas, it probably means that you didnt shower at all, so not only do you look like an asshole, but you smell like one too. DISGUSTING. I HATE YOU. Stay AWAY from me! You suck and I dont want to be around you, and I dont know anyone who would want to be. UGH. FUCK OFF AND DIE.
And I think this will draw to a close for now as bitching at stupid people is making me tired. But at least we got that out in the open. There are lots more people in the world who need to be told what assholes that they are (and, thankfully, a good many who are cool and arent assholes at all, some hope for the world) but this will have to wait for another day.
I be sick. Grrr. and the coughing and the wheezing and the nosebleed about half an hour ago and the lack of sleep and the aching head, and my entire body aches, and the dizziness...
especially the dizziness, I hate being dizzy. drives me nuts.
and the 103 fever, but I think it's gone down since last night, being that I'm not freezing anymore.
isn't that weird, how when you have a fever, you get REALLY cold? maybe because you're trying to warm up the air around you.
In any case, I woke up around 245 and couldn't sleep. So I figured I'd come update.
Kill me now.
I think there's fluid in my lungs... ugh.
Please let me get better before Monday, I've got a show to do and I don't feel like having Dr. Thomas pissed at me for being sick and missing it... >.<
I spent my entire life on this college campus that I am now attending.
I need something new. I need something exciting. I need something new and exciting RIGHT NOW.
I can't wait until May 13th for Faire rehearsals to begin. (assuming that I made it, which I'm fairly confident I did well enough to have made it)
I can't wait until August 12th when the Faire itself begins.
I can't wait until January 2007 when I go to Ireland.
I am dreading April 2007 when I must return. And I can tell you now, I won't want to. Because four months is not enough time to solve the mystery of Dublin City.
That's what places are to me-- they're a mystery, a riddle, a challenge, begging to be mapped out inside of my head, begging to be explored. For example, books are this way for my sister. For her, books are begging to be explored, begging her to unlock their inner most secrets.
That is what places do to me. I strive to know every inch of every foot, every foot of every mile, and so on and so forth. But this place... this is leeching the life out of me. This is sucking the breath out of me. I can't think straight.
Which is probably why I found excuses now and then to venture into Pottstown, Allentown, New Jersey, any roads I didn't know where they led, I explore. And now some I know.
And that's just our little corner of the globe.
There's an entire WORLD out there, full of twisting turning roads and secrets and places to be and things to see and experience and know. Had I the time, money, resources, I'd spend the rest of my life traveling the globe, getting to know as much as I can about this planet I live on.
All of it.
From the most magnificent man-made skyscraper towering over the heads of people in their everyday lives, to the grandest natural wonders that nature has to offer, to the most esoteric and beautiful ancient structures that have stood the test of time.
When I was a young girl trying to find a way above the tree tops the tree tops, the tree tops I did not care, I did not care what they called me
I'll float above the ocean the sun above is burning my head I will grow wings and fly everywhere
butter warm clouds are dripping into my mouth tasting of golden...
I'll float above the ocean the sun above is burning my head I will grow wings and fly everywhere... X3EisleyX3
"Andrew O" [11:29 P.M.]: chicken.. ba ba barrrk bark (can't do chicken noises for the life of me) "Me" [11:30 P.M.]: dude. I'm *totally* not a chicken. if I were a bird, I'd be a peacock cause they have pretty colors :-D "Andrew O" [11:30 P.M.]: haha but u don't like pretty colors u like black... ull be a penguin! "Me" [11:31 P.M.]: I like pretty colors. like red and blue and green and purple. "Me" [11:32 P.M.]: I like all colors! I just like black *best* "Me" [11:32 P.M.]: but then again, I have no problem with being a penguin "Andrew O" [11:32 P.M.]: lol, u can't fly though "Me" [11:33 P.M.]: SHUT UP YES I CAN "Me" [11:33 P.M.]: I'm a penguin hybrid. "Me" [11:33 P.M.]: a hybird, if you will. "Andrew O" [11:33 P.M.]: never heard of it, but i won't test ur expertise "Me" [11:33 P.M.]: I'm a penguin with FALGON WINGS!!!! "Me" [11:33 P.M.]: peregrine falcon. "Me" [11:34 P.M.]: yeah. hardXcore. "Me" [11:34 P.M.]: you can't fly as fast as me. cause I'm a frigging penguin with PEREGRINE FALCON WINGS "Andrew O" [11:34 P.M.]: hahaha "Andrew O" [11:34 P.M.]: not that!! "Andrew O" [11:34 P.M.]: anything but that!! "Me" [11:36 P.M.]: YEAH you ARE gonna lose "Me" [11:36 P.M.]: whatcha gonna do bout it NOW?!?! "Me" [11:36 P.M.]: son. "Andrew O" [11:37 P.M.]: hmm turn into a hawk and eat u "Me" [11:37 P.M.]: NUH UH cause I totally fly faster than you "Andrew O" [11:38 P.M.]: ull run out of breathe some day "Me" [11:38 P.M.]: well... "Me" [11:39 P.M.]: I'mma turn into a Pegasus! yeah! flying horses and shit! you can't beat that! "Andrew O" [11:41 P.M.]: dragon! "Me" [11:41 P.M.]: to counter your dragon "Me" [11:41 P.M.]: I'm gonna become a PHOENIX!!! "Me" [11:42 P.M.]: bwahahahahhahahaha!!!! "Andrew O" [11:44 P.M.]: a taradacle (the dinosaur) "Me" [11:44 P.M.]: teirodactle... eh, who cares about spelling "Me" [11:45 P.M.]: hmmm... what can beat that... "Me" [11:45 P.M.]: a flying... giant... pirhana. yeaaaah. "Me" [11:46 P.M.]: lol "Andrew O" [11:46 P.M.]: ill counter u with the griffin! "Me" [11:46 P.M.]: AGH! well I'm gonna take out your griffin with my hardXcore MINOTAUR!!! "Andrew O" [11:48 P.M.]: illl stump on u with my big feet cause im a giant! "Me" [11:49 P.M.]: yeah well your giant was bitten by hunting flies that belong to my short-tailed gar. however, your silly giant did not realize that short-tailed gars count their flies, so when he killed a bunch of flies, the short tailed gar found him, ripped him into pieces, then smeared the giant's blood on its chest, which the flies then feed off of while it consumes the rest of the giant. "Andrew O" [11:50 P.M.]: LOL "Andrew O" [11:50 P.M.]: wow "Andrew O" [11:50 P.M.]: thats was interesting to imagine "Me" [11:50 P.M.]: (so I totally ripped that from Terry Goodkind... shush) "Andrew O" [11:50 P.M.]: lol "Andrew O" [11:50 P.M.]: ok "Andrew O" [11:50 P.M.]: well i get a sex change and turn u into stone with my eyes!! "Me" [11:51 P.M.]: lol "Me" [11:52 P.M.]: see, but I just happen to have a handy dandy enchanted necklace that gives me a +10 defense against stone-working and paralyzation spells, which (unexpected to you) leaves me paralyzed in stone for only two seconds, then gives me time to run away and formulate my next plan "Me" [11:52 P.M.]: which involves the loch ness monster kicking your sorry ass lol "Me" [11:52 P.M.]: XD "Andrew O" [11:53 P.M.]: haha will i kill u with my club cause im cyclopes!! and theres no necklace out there that can stop that.. so no points for u!!! "Me" [11:55 P.M.]: but your cyclops is no match for my super duper X2000 Killer Flying Robot (c) complete with napalm missiles and lazer eyes!!! "Andrew O" [11:56 P.M.]: lol yeah well im triton and ill drop a nuclear bomb on ur ass! "Me" [11:57 P.M.]: yeah well I'm Zeus and just before the nuclear bomb can hit me, I set the Titans free so they come and pummel your silly Triton posterior with their uberly awesome Titan-ness "Andrew O" [11:57 P.M.]: haha so we both die? "Me" [11:57 P.M.]: no "Me" [11:58 P.M.]: because I evaded the Nuclear bomb "Andrew O" [11:58 P.M.]: not this bomb.. its anti-evadable "Me" [11:58 P.M.]: it's evadable with my state-of-the-art Klingon Bird-Of-Prey cloaking device "Me" [11:58 P.M.]: dont argue Star Trek with me, you won't win lol "Andrew O" [12:00 A.M.]: i dunno what the fuck that is but ill call out captain planet to kick ur ass "Me" [12:00 A.M.]: YEAH WELL BATMAN IS GONNA RUN CAPTAIN PLANETS SKINNY ASS OVER WITH THE BATMOBILE!!! "Me" [12:01 A.M.]: (this is awesome... can I post this on myspace later? lol) "Andrew O" [12:01 A.M.]: captain planet has hurricane wind that will blow u back where u came from "Andrew O" [12:01 A.M.]: haha yeah "Me" [12:02 A.M.]: okay well... Storm from X-Men who is immune to that hurricane wind fights her way over and decapitates Captain Planet with a katana given to her by Tom Cruise. "Me" [12:02 A.M.]: so NYEAH "Andrew O" [12:04 A.M.]: tom cruise? lol well the terminator will kill tom cause i can't stand him in the first place. and ill send superman to rip ur strom in half "Me" [12:04 A.M.]: TROGDOR BURNINATES YOU ALL!!!!!! you cannot escape the Trogdor burninationness!!! "Andrew O" [12:10 A.M.]: ooooo "Me" [12:10 A.M.]: YOUVE JUST BEEN FUCKIN BURNINATED BY TROGDOR!!!!!! "Andrew O" [12:11 A.M.]: yes but slimmer will kill u and when u attack i go through the wall! "Me" [12:12 A.M.]: okay fine. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you and ends it lol
Several times my daughter had telephoned to say. "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. Going and coming took most of a day -- and I honestly did not have a free day until the following week.
"I will come next Tuesday," I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call.
Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I drove the length of Route 91, continued on I-215, and finally turned onto Route 18 and began to drive up the mountain highway. The tops of the mountains were sheathed in clouds, and I had gone only a few miles when the road was completely covered with a wet, gray blanket of fog. I slowed to a crawl, my heart pounding. The road becomes narrow and winding toward the top of the mountain. As I executed the hazardous turns at a snail's pace, I was praying to reach the turnoff at Blue Jay that would signify I had arrived.
When I finally walked into Carolyn's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren. I said, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these darling children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"
My daughter smiled calmly, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."
"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears—and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.
"I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car. The mechanic just called, and they've finished repairing the engine," she answered.
"How far will we have to drive?" I asked cautiously.
"Just a few blocks," Carolyn said cheerfully. So we buckled up the children and went out to my car. "I'll drive," Carolyn offered. "I'm used to this."
We got into the car, and she began driving. In a few minutes I was aware that we were back on the Rim-of-the-World road heading over the top of the mountain.
"Where are we going?" I exclaimed, distressed to be back on the mountain road in the fog. "This isn't the way to the garage!"
"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils."
"Carolyn," I said sternly, trying to sound as if I were still the mother and in charge of the situation, "please turn around. There is nothing in the world that I want to see enough to drive on this road in this weather."
"It's all right, Mother," she replied with a knowing grin. "I know what I'm doing. I promise, you will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."
And so my sweet, darling daughter who had never given me a minute of difficulty in her whole life was suddenly in charge -- and she was kidnapping me! I couldn't believe it. Like it or not, I was on the way to see some ridiculous daffodils -- driving through the thick, gray silence of the mist-wrapped mountaintop at what I thought was risk to life and limb. I muttered all the way.
After about twenty minutes we turned onto a small gravel road that branched down into an oak-filled hollow on the side of the mountain. The Fog had lifted a little, but the sky was lowering, gray and heavy with clouds. We parked in a small parking lot adjoining a little stone church. From our vantage point at the top of the mountain we could see beyond us, in the mist, the crests of the San Bernardino range like the dark, humped backs of a herd of elephants. Far below us the fog-shrouded valleys, hills, and flatlands stretched away to the desert.
On the far side of the church I saw a pine-needle-covered path, with towering evergreens and manzanita bushes and an inconspicuous, hand-lettered sign "Daffodil Garden."
We each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path as it wound through the trees. The mountain sloped away from the side of the path in irregular dips, folds, and valleys, like a deeply creased skirt. Live oaks, mountain laurel, shrubs, and bushes clustered in the folds, and in the gray, drizzling air, the green foliage looked dark and monochromatic. I shivered.
Then we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight, unexpectedly and completely splendid. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes where it had run into every crevice and over every rise. Even in the mist-filled air, the mountainside was radiant, clothed in massive drifts and waterfalls of daffodils.
The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety (I learned later that there were more than thirty-five varieties of daffodils in the vast display) was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.
In the center of this incredible and dazzling display of gold, a great cascade of purple grape hyacinth flowed down like a waterfall of blossoms framed in its own rock-lined basin, weaving through the brilliant daffodils.
A charming path wound throughout the garden. There were several resting stations, paved with stone and furnished with Victorian wooden benches and great tubs of coral and carmine tulips. As though this were not magnificence enough, Mother Nature had to add her own grace note -- above the daffodils, a bevy of western bluebirds flitted and darted, flashing their brilliance. These charming little birds are the color of sapphires with breasts of magenta red. As they dance in the air, their colors are truly like jewels above the blowing, glowing daffodils.
The effect was spectacular. It did not matter that the sun was not shining. The brilliance of the daffodils was like the glow of the brightest sunlit day. Words, wonderful as they are, simply cannot describe the incredible beauty of that flower-bedecked mountain top.
Five acres of flowers! (This too I discovered later when some of my questions were answered.)
"But who has done this?" I asked Carolyn.
I was overflowing with gratitude that she brought me - even against my will. This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. "Who?" I asked again, almost speechless with wonder, "and how, and why, and when?"
"It's just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home. " Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house, my mind buzzing with questions. On the patio we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking" was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and very little brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."
There it was. The Daffodil Principle. For me that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than thirty-five years before, had begun -- one bulb at a time -- to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain-top.
One bulb at a time. There was no other way to do it. One bulb at a time. No shortcuts -- simply loving the slow process of planting. Loving the work as it unfolded. Loving an achievement that grew so slowly and that bloomed for only three weeks of each year. Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world.
This unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of ineffable magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration: learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time -- often just one baby-step at a time -- learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.
"Carolyn," I said that morning on the top of the mountain as we left the haven of daffodils, our minds and hearts still bathed and bemused by the splendors we had seen, "it's as though that remarkable woman has needle- pointed the earth! Decorated it. Just think of it, she planted every single bulb. For more than thirty years. One bulb at a time! And that's the only way this garden could be created. Every individual bulb had to be planted. There was no way of short-circuiting that process. Five acres of blooms. That magnificent cascade of hyacinth! All, all, just one bulb at a time." The thought of it filled my mind. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the implications of what I had seen.
"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"
My wise daughter put the car into gear and summed up the message of the day in her direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said with the same knowing smile she had worn for most of the morning.
Oh, profound wisdom! It is pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use tomorrow?" I also learned on that gray and golden morning what a blessing it is to have a child who is not a child anymore but a woman perceptive and loving beyond her years -- and to be humble in that awareness.
Thank you, Carolyn. Thank you for lessons of that unforgettable morning. Thank you for the gift of the daffodils.
Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards
NOTE: This is a real garden by Mrs. Gene Bauer of Running Spring, CA
1. whats your biggest fear? Being alone, in all senses of the word 2. whats the hardest thing you find yourself running into in life? troublesome people 3. if you could change anything about yourself....what? I'm not sure I'd change anything, as if I did, I wouldn't be me. I'd probably be less bitchier. yeahhhhh 4. what do you like best about your friends? I love how they're always there right when I need them. 5. whats your greatest insecurity? I have a hard time trusting people 6. what types of things do you lie about and why? I try not to, I don't mean to, I don't usually. When I do, it's either the extreme embellishment of a story to make it more interesting, or it's in panic. but I don't usually 7. whats your view on how you should be? I should be more level-headed 8. hows that coming? 50/50ish I guess. 9. what do you like least bout how the world works? I hate stupid people and downright cruel people. 10. what are you the biggest hypocrite about? emo kids lol... 11. what do you feel is the most important quality for a person to have? compassion for others, empathy, if you will 12. what do you feel is the most thing to learn? nobody's perfect. you can't expect the world of any one person. 13. what do you govern your life by? I try to do things that will yield the best situation for the most people 14. what do you hold in the most? love and compassion 15. what do you believe has brought you this far? oxygen and education 16. do you wear anything of specific meaning? everything has meaning but I think the thing I wear that has the most meaning are these two plastic bracelets I wear. they're the ones that you take the inside of a soda bottle cap and take the blue thing out, cut out the center, and stretch it into a bracelet. Nell taught me how to make them, and they're a symbol of my youthful high school years. 17. how important are symbols to you? Or sentimentality? very. very much so. every gift I get I treasure like it was the giver of the gift itself, and I often hope that other people do the same, but never really know. 18. do you believe in free will? I'm not sure. I suppose I haven't done enough research on the subject, but I'm leaning towards no because of chemical reactions in the brain. 19. do you believe in god? Why? yes. I believe God is the term that people most commonly use to mean conscience. everyone's god is inside of them, and nobody's two gods are the same. your god is your philosophy, your emotions, your thoughts, your set of values, your morality, what you believe is right and wrong. 20. Best teacher you ever had, why? my parents. they usally have the answers I'm looking for. not always, but usually. 21. Biggest worry? that I will inspire nobody 22. How does what you do best affect your world? what I do best... I'm not really sure what I do best. I can tell you what I can do well, but I wouldn't be able to compare one thing that I do well to another thing that I do well simply because... well, it's like, if I compared my singing to my cooking to my listening skills. they're apples and oranges. but what I want to be to the world is an inspiration for something good. peace, emotion, insight, whatever. I want to change at least one other person's life for the better, and then it will all be worthwhile 23. Where would you be in your ideal future? doing what I love to get rich and famous, and then using the money to give the people I love the content and comfort they deserve, then using the rest to pour into the world for various causes, helping people get their lives together, supporting the arts and expression, making the world beautiful in every sense of the word 24. Do you live in regret of anything? no. never. I feel sorrow for some things I've done, but had I not made mistakes, I'd never have learned from them. 25. How different would you be without those things that you regret? 26. Whats the strangest thing about you? I am quite temperamental. I could change at any time and the transition would be smooth, but quick. often times I put up a front, hiding behind a mask. not many people really know who I am inside. 27. Memory in your life that stands out the most? My family and I were on vacation in Wildwood, New Jersey. They wanted to stay in the room and watch tv, but the night was beautiful, so I went for a walk, and ended up on the sunroof of the hotel we were staying at, the Aqua Beach. The sun was setting on the city behind me as I walked up to the edge of the building, leaned on the railing, and looked out into the dark ocean before me, watching the waves lap nonchalantly onto the sandy beach. In the distance to my left (north) I could see the boardwalk glowing, and the ferris wheel looming on the horizon, and the smells of funnel cake, french fries and sea salt all mingled in the air. That moment of my life, I was awake and alive and at peace. 28. What phrase would best describe your life? "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." ~Edgar Allen Poe 29. What phrase would you want on a tombstone? either one of two from Edgar Allen Poe's poems, first Romance, then The Valley of Unrest...
"Of late, eternal Condor years So shake the very Heaven on high With tumult as they thunder by, I have no time for idle cares Through gazing on the unquiet sky. And when an hour with calmer wings Its down upon my spirit flings- That little time with lyre and rhyme To while away- forbidden things! My heart would feel to be a crime Unless it trembled with the strings."
Or...
"Ah, by no wind are stirred those trees That palpitate like the chill seas Around the misty Hebrides! Ah, by no wind those clouds are driven That rustle through the uniquet Heaven Uneasily, from morn til eve, Over the violets that there lie In myriad types of the human eye- Over the lillies there that wave And weep above a nameless grave! They wave from out their fragrant tops Eternal dews come down in drops. They weep from off their delicate stems, Perennial tears descend in gems."
or really anything Edgar Allen Poe or Rainer Maria Rilke.
30. What day holds the strongest emotional high that you can remember? closing night of Leader of the Pack, when we won states, and we all cried during the last song. 31. What can you remember about being a child? I felt very alienated from people my age as a child. I was always the weird one. I had a nice home life, but much from my childhood I dont care to remember from school. 32. What memories do you know you’ve altered on purpose over the years? many from my childhood. lots of stuff from before 9th grade, really. 33. can you remember a conversation you had that you know meant a lot to both you and the other person? there've been so many... you want me to choose one? crazy. 34. did you ever have a reoccurring dream…about what? I used to have this recurring dream about wandering through fields of lavendar, and coming out in a forest clearing (randomly) with a Hazel Tree and ivy growing up it. doesn't happen that much anymore, but now and then I'll see it. usually those are the only dreams I can step out of, since I can't really project any other way. 35. whats your favorite quote? How does it apply to you? "What if everything is an illusion and nothing really exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet." ~Woody Allen. he's the man. 36. what were the major changing points in your life? BYTA. and 9th grade. 37. whats your biggest perk/self esteem booster? being with my friends. making people laugh. laughing. cooking. singing. 38. what do you lie to yourself about the most? Everything's okay... 39. what do you hide about yourself? Why are you afraid to show it? I hide alot about myself. I'm truly a little emo kid on the inside. but I hide it.
Okay, so Kolton and I started and ended pretty quickly. Interesting.
I'ma try and stay single for a while. I really don't have as much time as I should like to pour into a relationship. I dunno. I need to focus on what I gotta do to finish out the semester properly lol
including finishing this goddamn paper on Ireland... >.<
Wouldn't be so bad if it were on the culture of Ireland instead of the history and politics.
Two Things That Scare You 1. Fire 2. losing people I love
Two of Your Everyday Essentials 1. Car 2. Coffee
Two Things You Are Wearing 1. Tripp pants 2. Boondock Saints shirt
Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment) 1. PANIC! at the Disco 2. Green Day
Two of Your Favorite Songs - at the moment 1. I Write Sins Not Tragedies - PANIC! at the Disco 2. Breathe - Anna Nalick
Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love) 1. Honesty 2. Cuddling
Two Truths 1. I've never thrown anyone off of a cliff before. 2. I'm horrible at speaking and thinking at the same time. People think that I'm stupid because I don't speak much. I'm not, truly. I think better while I'm typing or writing.
Two Physical Things that Appeal to You 1. I'm a sucker for guys in eyeliner. I even have a shirt that says so. In fact, I just love eyes in general. 2. Arms. I love arms.
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies 1. Cooking. I don't get time to. but I love throwing things together and seeing what comes of it. 2. Writing.
Two Things You Want Really Badly 1. I hardXcore NEED some Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream NOW. NOW!!! oh man... 2. Scratch that. Make that a raspberry almond cappucino... oh yeah.
Two Places You Want to go on Vacation 1. Ireland! I'd give my right arm to go to Ireland. 2. Italia!
Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die 1. Change someone's life for the better. 2. Be a mom. Cause my mom is just so awesome and I don't know what I'd do without her. I wanna do that for someone.
Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Chick/Guy 1. I openly admit it: I care about how I look. Alot. HELLO my mom is a Mary Kay saleslady. I'm her walking advertisement, I have her business to keep up! ;-) 2. I love cute clothes. Pretty bohemian clothes. It's not my style, but I love them anyway. and I love to shop.
Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit 1. I'm a bitch. Truly. 2. I'm not as badass as I try to look or try to act.
Two Things You Are Thinking About Now 1. Kolton 2. Cheesecake...
some combination thereof...
Two Stores You Shop At 1. Hot Topic, OF course 2. Kohl's
Two people I haven't talked to in a while 1. Brian 2. Nicole
Two people I would like to see take this quiz 1. Jenni 2. Nicole
“I've met some folks who say that I'm a dreamer
And I've no doubt there's truth in what they say
But sure a body's bound to be a dreamer
When all the things she loves are far away
And precious things are dreams unto an exile
They take over the land across the sea
Especially when it happens she's an exile
From that dear lovely isle of Inisfree...
And then the moonlight peeps across the rooftops
Of this great city wontrous though it be
I scarcely feel its wonder or its laughter
I'm once again back home in Inisfree
I wander o'er green hills through dreamy valleys
And find a peace no other land could know
I hear the birds make music fit for angels
And watch the rivers laughing as they flow
And then into a humble shack I wander
My dear old home I tenderly behold
The folks I love around the turf-fire gathered
On bended knee the rosary is told
But dreams don't last, though dreams are not forgotten
And soon I'm back to stern reality
For though they pave the foot path here with gold dust
I still would choose my Isle of Inisfree”
Twin Irish guys – what could be better? The answer is simple: twin Irish guys knocking off evil people one by one in a fit of blood, prayer, and coins. Boondock Saints, 2001, provides just that, and even more. Caught up in a bar fight on St. Patrick’s Day, Irish-born Connor and Murphy McManus suddenly have a God-sent revelation: their mission is to kill gangsters and mafia lords and underlings. They’re on a mission to purge the streets of Boston and its neighborhoods of crime. Meanwhile it’s the job of FBI agent Paul Smecker to put a stop to their killings.
Written and directed by Troy Duffy, Boondock Saints is fresh, original, and full of Irish spirit. It’s fortunate that Boondock Saints was directed by the same person who wrote it. Another director might have been more prudish, eliminating some of the language and violence of the original script in order to be more politically correct. No, we were more fortunate than that. Duffy pulled out all the stops, making the storyline and presentation thereof stimulating, exciting, and thrilling – the type of in-your-face, edge-of-your-seat, yet still extremely intelligent action film the world has been waiting for.
The actors in Boondock Saints were fabulously cast. The brotherly chemistry between Sean Patrick Flanery (Conner McManus) and Norman Reedus (Murphy McManus) simply blows any audience away. However, the real gem is Willem Dafoe, who plays the incredibly unconventional, talented, intelligent and yet unpredictably odd FBI agent Paul Smecker. Dafoe’s character covers a great and wide range of emotions, all of which are executed perfectly. Dafoe’s performance in Boondock Saints is no less than deserving of an Oscar.
In its entirety, Boondock Saints is a rarity, combining suspense, action, and mental and psychological stimulation. Though it is rated R, I recommend it for individuals ages 14 and older. Boondock Saints is a must-see. “And Shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee, power hath descended forth from Thy hand that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In Nomine Patri et Fili Spiritu Sancte.
Just got an email saying that one of the girls in the play had to drop out.
Leaving a part wide open.
I wish sooo badly that I could just step in and take the part, but I have, like, no time. At all. Work conflicts with the rehearsals.
I dunno. It's like, all my senior year in high school, I had all the time in the world. I had so few commitments and now there's just so much.
Which I'm okay with, cause it's totally awesome to be caught up in the tide of things.
I guess I'm just miffed that my senior year did next to nothing to prepare me for this. Which it was supposed to do. I was not challenged in any way during my senior year and so I'd become somewhat lazy over the 0405 year and summer, only to be tossed right into the middle of everything.
But I'm adjusting. :-) pulling through, like I always do.
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